Banta - The Magician

Banta was magician and used to work on a cruise ship.

The audience was different each week, so the Banta used to do the same tricks over and over again and receive applause every time.

There was one problem though. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

Banta was furious at times, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

One day it so happened that while Banta was performing his tricks, the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the tenth day, the parrot could not hold back and said,

"OK, I give up, This trick is something new. Where's the bloody ship?"

Banta's first air travel

Banta was asked by his company to travel to London for bussiness visit. It was Banta's first air travel and he was scared.

When he abroad the flight, He started feeling better seeing the crowd and their ease and comfort. And the plane was off to London peacefully..

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising
altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop
from Delhi to London.
The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight.
So sit back,relax and...... OH, MY GOD !'

Silence followed!


Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking
to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my
lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

Banta stood up and yelled... 'You come here ... you should see the
back of mine first!!!'

Banta as Surgeon

Banta was renowned surgeon of the city.

A person went into hospital one day to undergo a risky medical procedure.

He spoke to Banta (Head surgeon) earlier to explain that I was a little nervous, but Banta reassured him following way.

"There's only a 1 in 100 chance of anything going seriously wrong," he said.

"Besides, I've done 99 of these operations before and they've all been fine."

Boy vs Girl

Boy: I think you are ABCDEFGHIJK.

Girl: What does that mean?

Boy: Adorable, beautiful, charming, delightful, elegant, feisty, gorgeous and hot.

Girl: And the 'IJK'?

Boy: I'm just kidding!!

The Pope and KFC Deal

When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea. He got in touch with the Pope and asked him whether they could change the words of the Lord's prayer from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken."

"I can't possibly do that" said the Pope.

Not even for 100,000 dollars?" asked the colonel.

"No, not even for 100,000 dollars.

6 months later and KFC sales were declining even further. The colonel was getting desperate and made another call to the Pope. This time he offered 500,000 dollars to change the words from "bread" to "chicken".

Again, the Pope refused. I can't possibly change the words of the Lord's prayer" he repeated.

Another six months by and KFC sales had reached an all time low, and the company was in danger of going out of business. Colonel Sanders made one last attempt to persuade the Pope to change the wording of the Lord's prayer.

"I'll donate 50million dollars to the Vatican if you change the word "bread" to "chicken""

There was a pause.

"That is a lot of money" the Pope conceded.

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll have to discuss it with the Cardinals"

So the Pope called a meeting of the Cardinals. He began,

"I have good news that, KFC are going to donate 50 million dollars to the Vatican.
The bad news is, we'll have to end the Britania account."

Lord Shiva in bar!!

One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So
he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender:

"What all do u have"?

Bartender : "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc.".

Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first, give me 5 bottles of whisky".

After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord Shiva decided to try Rum.

Bartender was shocked :"Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky,he is still on his feet".

After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles
of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.

Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him : "Sir,who are you??

I've seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you"???

Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain". (Translation: Son, I am Lord Shiva)

Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!! (Translation: Now It has an effect!!)