Banta - the lion tamer

An apprentice is training to be a lion tamer, and it's his first day.

The master tamer Banta was telling him what to do."Firstly, if the lion growls, move back slightly."

Secondly, if the lion keeps growling, and moves towards you, move back a little more."

Thirdly, if the lion is still growling and advancing on you, throw a load of shit in its face and ran out.

"The apprentice replies, "but what if there is no shit to throw?"

"Don't worry," replies the Banta, "if a lion is advancing on you, there will be!"

65 year-old woman gave birth

A 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. She is discharged from the hospital and goes home.

Her relatives came to see this miracle and also were bit burried as how she will cope up the situation “May we see the new baby?” one asks.

“Not yet… soon,” says the 65 year-old mother, chatting away with her visitors.

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asks, “May we see the new baby now?”

“Not yet,” replies the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they ask again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No,” replies the mother.

Growing very impatient, they ask, “So, when can we see the baby?”

“Well..... when it cries,” she tells them.“WHEN IT CRIES!” they exclaim, “why on earth do we have to wait until it cries?”

“Because," she explains, "I've forgotten where I put it...”