Smart Banta one day enterer into a bar and rested himself in a chair. The bartender approaches Banta and asked, "Do you like to have any drink, Sir" ?
Banta replied, "No, I tried drinking once, I didn't like it.... So I don't take anymore now".
Bartender: "Sir, Would you like to have any cigarette or cigar"?
Banta Replied, "No, I tried smoking once, I didn't like it, So I have given up once for all"
Banta then himself added, "Actually I am waiting here for my Son, I have promised him that I will be for him in the bar today".
Bartender replied sarcastically, "I bet sir, He must be your only Son"!!
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Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Smart Banta and his neighbour
Banta got furious when his neighbour telephoned him at 3 am night and complained, "Your Dog is barking so loudly that I can't sleep" and he hunged up the phone.
The following night at 3 am Banta called his neighbour and said, "You idiot, I don't have any dog".
The following night at 3 am Banta called his neighbour and said, "You idiot, I don't have any dog".
Friday, June 27, 2008
Smart Banta on trial
Smart Banta was on trial before the high court of Australia, for the crime of making sexual advances to an ostrich.
"Before passing sentence," announced the judge, "do you have anything to say?"
"Your honor," said the Smarty, "if I had known you were going to make such a fuss about it, I would not have married the bloody bird!"
"Before passing sentence," announced the judge, "do you have anything to say?"
"Your honor," said the Smarty, "if I had known you were going to make such a fuss about it, I would not have married the bloody bird!"
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Santa in New York
Santa arrived in New York seeking his fame and fortune. As he strolled down the sidewalk he noticed a great long ladder propped against the side of a building, stretching upward as far as the eye could see.
He started to pass on by, but a voice high in the clouds called down, "Climb up the ladder to success!"
Somewhat nervously he began to ascend, stair by stair, all the way to the top of the fifty-story edifice.
When he got there, a slender, blond, blue-eyed boy seated on the ledge of the building smiled sweetly at him.
"Hi, there!" he said. "I am Cess!"
Banta in the theatre
It was after the intermission at the theater, and Smart Banta and his wife were returning to their seats.
”Did I step on your feet as I went out?” Banta asked a man at the end of the row.
”You certainly did,” said the man awaiting an apology.
Banta turned to his wife,”it’s all right, darling,” he said. ”This is our Row.”
”Did I step on your feet as I went out?” Banta asked a man at the end of the row.
”You certainly did,” said the man awaiting an apology.
Banta turned to his wife,”it’s all right, darling,” he said. ”This is our Row.”
Monday, June 23, 2008
Santa and the Surgeon
What does Santa says to the surgen wearing the surgical-mask ?????
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(THink Hard, you can get it!!!!)
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Santa:- Its Ok, You can take your mask off now, doctor, I have recognized you!"
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(THink Hard, you can get it!!!!)
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Santa:- Its Ok, You can take your mask off now, doctor, I have recognized you!"
Santa filed for divorce
Santa had been overseas for eighteen months. He came home and found he had a three-week-old baby. His wife explained that she dreamt she had intercourse with him, and she got pregnant.
Santa got furious and filed for divorce. In court even the judge was astounded by the wife's story. He stood up and asked the audience if they had ever had intercourse with a ghost.
In the back, Santa's freind Banta raised his hand. His Honor called him to the bench. "Now," said the judge, "you say you had intercourse with a ghost?'."
"Ah, excuse me," said the Banta, "I thought you say-a goat!"
Santa got furious and filed for divorce. In court even the judge was astounded by the wife's story. He stood up and asked the audience if they had ever had intercourse with a ghost.
In the back, Santa's freind Banta raised his hand. His Honor called him to the bench. "Now," said the judge, "you say you had intercourse with a ghost?'."
"Ah, excuse me," said the Banta, "I thought you say-a goat!"
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Santa and the American
Santa and an American are sitting together in a train compartment. The American was eating some apple seeds.
After some time, Santa becomes curious and asks the American, "Why are you eating apple seeds?"
The American replied, "Apple seeds make you smart!"
Santa, even more curious, asks, "Are they for sale?"
The American answers, "Yes, of course, You can have these five apple seeds for twenty five dollars only."
Santa agreed to the deal and starts eating the seeds. Suddenly Santa turns to the American and says, "Hey, you, listen, for twenty five dollars I could have bought five kilos of apples!"
The American turns to him with a satisfied smile and answers, "Now you see -- it has started working already!"
Friday, June 20, 2008
A Frog goes to an Astrolger
A Frog curious about his future and love life went to an astrolger...
Frog :- Sir, Please tell me something about my future, Is there any girl in my life???
Astrologer:- Yeah you will soon meet a beautiful, intelligent and charming girl who will be interested in you and wants to know more about you.
Frog asks excitedly, "And where will I find this girl" ??
Astologer: In Biology Lab!!
Frog :- Sir, Please tell me something about my future, Is there any girl in my life???
Astrologer:- Yeah you will soon meet a beautiful, intelligent and charming girl who will be interested in you and wants to know more about you.
Frog asks excitedly, "And where will I find this girl" ??
Astologer: In Biology Lab!!
Banta furious over 5 year old incident
Smart Banta was beating up a man mercilessly..
A man from the crowd asked Banta, "Why you are beating him"?
Banta: He called me 'rhino', five years before!!
Man: So why you are beating him today, comeon don't dig up the past..
Banta: No Sir, Yesterday only I saw 'rhino' in a zoo for the first time, It looks very ugly!!
A man from the crowd asked Banta, "Why you are beating him"?
Banta: He called me 'rhino', five years before!!
Man: So why you are beating him today, comeon don't dig up the past..
Banta: No Sir, Yesterday only I saw 'rhino' in a zoo for the first time, It looks very ugly!!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
How do you ask a rose to go to the moon???
How do you ask a rose to go to the moon????
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Any Guesses???
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Answer> By showing it "gulab"+"jaa"+"Moon"
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Any Guesses???
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Answer> By showing it "gulab"+"jaa"+"Moon"
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Banta and the Prosecutor!!
The prosecutor began his cross-examination of the witness, Banta.”
Prosecutor :- Banta, Do you know this man?””
Banta :- How should I know him?”
Prosecutor :- Did he borrow money from you?
Banta :- Why should he borrow money from me?
Annoyed, the judge asked the Banta,
”Why do you persist in answering every question with another question?”
”why not?” said Banta
Prosecutor :- Banta, Do you know this man?””
Banta :- How should I know him?”
Prosecutor :- Did he borrow money from you?
Banta :- Why should he borrow money from me?
Annoyed, the judge asked the Banta,
”Why do you persist in answering every question with another question?”
”why not?” said Banta
Santa troubled with baked beans
One Friday night, Santa came home to supper. His wife served him baked beans.
He threw his plate of beans against the wall and shouted, ”I hate baked beans.”’
Santa, I can’t figure you out,” his wife said,”
Monday night you liked Baked beans, Tuesday night you liked baked beans,Wednesday night you liked Baked beans and Thursday night you again liked it and now, all of a sudden, today you say you hate Baked beans.”This is ridiculous!!
He threw his plate of beans against the wall and shouted, ”I hate baked beans.”’
Santa, I can’t figure you out,” his wife said,”
Monday night you liked Baked beans, Tuesday night you liked baked beans,Wednesday night you liked Baked beans and Thursday night you again liked it and now, all of a sudden, today you say you hate Baked beans.”This is ridiculous!!
Superistion not the way!!
Many of us blindly follow what have been taught to us or what we see around people doing. Sometimes these are pretty absurd but we still follow out of fear.Ofcourse world seems lot better now than earlier and now people are rationalising things.
Somebody asked REBEL: Is it a bad omen that if somebody is going somewhere and a cat crosses the road? Does it really have an affect?
REBEL replied: Now that depends whether you are a RAT or a MAN!!
Somebody asked REBEL: Is it a bad omen that if somebody is going somewhere and a cat crosses the road? Does it really have an affect?
REBEL replied: Now that depends whether you are a RAT or a MAN!!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Psychology of Laughter and PJ
Laughter naturally comes as thunder comes - suddenly. That is the very mechanism of a joke, any simple joke. Why does it make people laugh? What is the psychology of it?
It builds up a certain energy in you; your mind starts thinking in a certain way as you are listening to the joke, and you are excited to know the punch line - how it ends. You start expecting some logical end - because mind cannot do anything else but logic - and a joke is not logic. So when the end comes it is so illogical and so ridiculous, but so fitting, that the energy you were holding in, waiting for the end, suddenly bursts forth into laughter. Whether the joke is great or small does not matter, the psychology is the same.
Thats the motivation, How very scientific!!
It builds up a certain energy in you; your mind starts thinking in a certain way as you are listening to the joke, and you are excited to know the punch line - how it ends. You start expecting some logical end - because mind cannot do anything else but logic - and a joke is not logic. So when the end comes it is so illogical and so ridiculous, but so fitting, that the energy you were holding in, waiting for the end, suddenly bursts forth into laughter. Whether the joke is great or small does not matter, the psychology is the same.
Thats the motivation, How very scientific!!
some Little Jhonny stuff!!
Little Jhonny is at the zoo with his teacher, Miss Goodbody, and the entire class. They are touring around when Jhonny sees a deer peacefully grazing on some grass.
"Jhonny, can you tell us the name of that animal?" asks Miss Goodbody, pointing to the deer.
"Well," says Jhonny, "I think it is a... I guess it is a..."
"Let me give you a hint," interrupts Miss Goodbody.
"What does your mother call your father every morning?"
"Oh, right!" shouts Jhonny. "It is an asshole!!"
"Jhonny, can you tell us the name of that animal?" asks Miss Goodbody, pointing to the deer.
"Well," says Jhonny, "I think it is a... I guess it is a..."
"Let me give you a hint," interrupts Miss Goodbody.
"What does your mother call your father every morning?"
"Oh, right!" shouts Jhonny. "It is an asshole!!"
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friends - I am not done yet...
Its saturday late night and I lay in bed half woken , half asleep and then there this pulse draws me out of bed. A moment later I see myself vigorously walking to and fro in the hall. I am not clear though what have made me doing so and this inturn makes my action more vigorous. I prevented my athelitism by forcing myself to a comfortable chair lying in the hall.
There then, tides of thoughts started hitting me from inside. Is this what I wanted to become? Do I like what I do? If yes, then why don't I do something?? What something?? Am I become old enough to zeal out my dead soul?? Couldn't have I lived my past much better ?? ......Wooof!!
Is this sudden rush of blood in my viens as usaul?? And will then this fade again and leave me lead a mechanical life?? Am I insane to have think about all these?? Why thinking past?? Why thinking future?? Did I do anything creative today to have comfort of sleep???
There then I now see a radiant smile on my face. There then something in me loves me lot and takes over turbulence to bring tranquility in me.There I see I lie relaxed and confident and I know that I am not done yet ....
There then, tides of thoughts started hitting me from inside. Is this what I wanted to become? Do I like what I do? If yes, then why don't I do something?? What something?? Am I become old enough to zeal out my dead soul?? Couldn't have I lived my past much better ?? ......Wooof!!
Is this sudden rush of blood in my viens as usaul?? And will then this fade again and leave me lead a mechanical life?? Am I insane to have think about all these?? Why thinking past?? Why thinking future?? Did I do anything creative today to have comfort of sleep???
There then I now see a radiant smile on my face. There then something in me loves me lot and takes over turbulence to bring tranquility in me.There I see I lie relaxed and confident and I know that I am not done yet ....
Santa, Banta got drunked
Santa wakes up in hospital, covered in bandages, and notices Banta sitting at his bedside.
Santa :- "What happened to me?
Banta :- "Well," , "You had a few too many drinks last night, and then you made a bet that you could jump out of the window and fly around the pub."
"Why didn't you stop me?" Santa screams.
"Stop you?" replies Banta. "Hell, I bet five hundred rupees on you and lost it."
Santa :- "What happened to me?
Banta :- "Well," , "You had a few too many drinks last night, and then you made a bet that you could jump out of the window and fly around the pub."
"Why didn't you stop me?" Santa screams.
"Stop you?" replies Banta. "Hell, I bet five hundred rupees on you and lost it."
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Deadly original PJ2 - Read at your risk..
Friends - This can proove to be intolerant to Non Pjs reader.... Please cooperate...
God Bless me.....
What happens when somebody keeps a bun on top of heater????
Guesss ..............(Right guessers can join author to contribute for this blog.... :-)) )
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ANS>>>>>
It becomes a sardar (He + te(u)r + bun)
he he he ...... . spread it and enjoy looking at the listner's face... :-)
God Bless me.....
What happens when somebody keeps a bun on top of heater????
Guesss ..............(Right guessers can join author to contribute for this blog.... :-)) )
...
....
...
ANS>>>>>
It becomes a sardar (He + te(u)r + bun)
he he he ...... . spread it and enjoy looking at the listner's face... :-)
cute moral story 1
Some days can be lucky for the readers when Pjs don't come anyhow... :-)
Let me share a short story which I listened when I was young...
An old lady was searching something beneath a lampost (in the night, lets sat 8 pm :-) ).
A man was passing by saw this and asked the lady...
man:- Amma -- What for your are looking into?
Old Women :- Oh!! Actually I lost my needle and looking for the same.
Hearing this, Man also started searching for the needle along with Amma..., After a while not finding the needle, Man asked the old woman...
Man: Amma, Where have you lost it?
Old Woman: I have lost it in my home.
Man: Amma, So why you are searching for it beneath a lamp post when you have lost it in your home.
Amma: Son, There is no light in my house hence I am searching it here.
Author(:-)) --- Hmmm, S0 the moral is -- come out of your comfort zone and look out of the problem where actually the problem is!!
Everybody ENLIGHTENED!!!
Let me share a short story which I listened when I was young...
An old lady was searching something beneath a lampost (in the night, lets sat 8 pm :-) ).
A man was passing by saw this and asked the lady...
man:- Amma -- What for your are looking into?
Old Women :- Oh!! Actually I lost my needle and looking for the same.
Hearing this, Man also started searching for the needle along with Amma..., After a while not finding the needle, Man asked the old woman...
Man: Amma, Where have you lost it?
Old Woman: I have lost it in my home.
Man: Amma, So why you are searching for it beneath a lamp post when you have lost it in your home.
Amma: Son, There is no light in my house hence I am searching it here.
Author(:-)) --- Hmmm, S0 the moral is -- come out of your comfort zone and look out of the problem where actually the problem is!!
Everybody ENLIGHTENED!!!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
santa getting executed!!
Santa was getting executed on a murder case, The day before police approached Santa and declared.
police : santa , tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jaygi.
santa : ha ha ha ! mein toh subah uthta he 8 baje hun .
police : santa , tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jaygi.
santa : ha ha ha ! mein toh subah uthta he 8 baje hun .
My point is exactly the same!!
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point is exactly the same."
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point is exactly the same."
How computers greet each other??
How does one computer greets the other one when connected through rsh or ssh????
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No GIFTS for guessing though ( TOI language)
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Ans>
RAM ROM ....
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No GIFTS for guessing though ( TOI language)
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Ans>
RAM ROM ....
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
santa's daughter marriage --- PJ1 (copyright)
Santa was a poor farmer and he had a beautiful daughter whose wedding day was approaching. Santa was feeling very embarrased as he had nothing to offer to his only daughter on her wedding day. But then suddenly something flashes in his mind and he became very calm and relaxed.
And finally the wedding day came and santa's daughter got married to handsome farmer of the neighbouring village. And when couple approached Santa for his blessing...... Santa scribbled some letters on white paper with black pen and handed that to the bride as GIFT....
WHY SANTA DID THIS ......... Any Guesseess????????
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Ans
Kyuki kala aksar bhais barabar hota hai..... He He.....
And finally the wedding day came and santa's daughter got married to handsome farmer of the neighbouring village. And when couple approached Santa for his blessing...... Santa scribbled some letters on white paper with black pen and handed that to the bride as GIFT....
WHY SANTA DID THIS ......... Any Guesseess????????
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Ans
Kyuki kala aksar bhais barabar hota hai..... He He.....
Laughter - The remedy
Hello Everybody!!
:-)) :-)) Ok... Ok.. Hmmm..!! So I begin now.... copyright...... mind ya.
Laughter--- Somebody has said that if you can't laugh at yourself then leave the job for others and to me life has been only this. Laughter has become now integral part of my day to day life and I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded with people who are either source, destination or both of the same. The author himself belong to latter category.
If I take back you to my early school days, I was as expected cute and handsome but shy, emotional and over sensitive. A mere scolding from my beloved teachers let the tears roll down my lovely cheeks and then how I have been teased by my friends for being over sensitive and coward and what not!! I would quickly like my reader to know that I have been excellent in studies and often been scolded for my mischeviosness.
It didn't took much time for me (an average guy surely would have taken several years more perhaps) to realize how silly I am!! Then I laughed my heart out onto myself and there goes my all diseases. Words, weightless words tend to harm me less now. I have been extensively tested with this feature. I am so sure some observant reader must have guessed that author is a software engineer by profession.
I am firm believer that people are tough enough to tackle silly, complicated, unpredictable problems of their life. If not one should seriously thrive for the same.Everybody has problems, No big deal. Nobody has smooth ride through out one's life.What needed though is the change in the way they are tackled.
Let's welcome them with our hands spread as they are our own. Lets help each other secretly, unknowingly, indirectly with the medium of laughter. Lets face each of them with thunderous laughter, Ok, ok depending upon the severity one can reduce the volume. For bigger problems a smile will do!!
signing off for the day...
cheers
~rakesh
:-)) :-)) Ok... Ok.. Hmmm..!! So I begin now.... copyright...... mind ya.
Laughter--- Somebody has said that if you can't laugh at yourself then leave the job for others and to me life has been only this. Laughter has become now integral part of my day to day life and I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded with people who are either source, destination or both of the same. The author himself belong to latter category.
If I take back you to my early school days, I was as expected cute and handsome but shy, emotional and over sensitive. A mere scolding from my beloved teachers let the tears roll down my lovely cheeks and then how I have been teased by my friends for being over sensitive and coward and what not!! I would quickly like my reader to know that I have been excellent in studies and often been scolded for my mischeviosness.
It didn't took much time for me (an average guy surely would have taken several years more perhaps) to realize how silly I am!! Then I laughed my heart out onto myself and there goes my all diseases. Words, weightless words tend to harm me less now. I have been extensively tested with this feature. I am so sure some observant reader must have guessed that author is a software engineer by profession.
I am firm believer that people are tough enough to tackle silly, complicated, unpredictable problems of their life. If not one should seriously thrive for the same.Everybody has problems, No big deal. Nobody has smooth ride through out one's life.What needed though is the change in the way they are tackled.
Let's welcome them with our hands spread as they are our own. Lets help each other secretly, unknowingly, indirectly with the medium of laughter. Lets face each of them with thunderous laughter, Ok, ok depending upon the severity one can reduce the volume. For bigger problems a smile will do!!
signing off for the day...
cheers
~rakesh
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