The farmer, the sheep and the dog

A Young farmer, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a desert island.

After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the farmer.

Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Young man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Young farmer had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Young man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear..."could you take the dog for a walk?"

The cabie driver and the nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Singh is Kinng (Image)

The DON, the Deaf and mute Guy and Smart Banta

A deaf mute man is working his way up in the Mumbai and finally gets the job of collecting "protection" money from traders on the streets of Mumbai.

After a few weeks though he gets greedy and starts to cream off some of the money and stashes it in a safe place. The DON however soon realises that they are short by about 8,00,000 and went to catch up the guy with their best enforcers to sort it out.

He finds the deaf mute collector and asks him where the money is, but they can't communicate so the enforcer drags the guy to one of Banta, poor restaurant owners who he knew could use sign language.

"Ask him where the money is."

Banta signs to the man who'd been terrorising the neighbourhood for weeks "Where's the money?"

The deaf mute replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Banta tells the DON this, who immediately pulls out a gun and points in the collector's mouth. "NOW ask him where the money is."

The terrified deaf-mute signs back, "The 8,00,000 is in deposit box 542 at Paddington Station and the key is in the glove compartment of my car."

Banta says to the DON, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger, and he is not afraid of bastards like you."

Definition of God

The dog looked up it's caregiver and said, "You love me, you play with me, you take care of me, you feed me, you must be God."

The cat looked up at it's caregiver and said, "You love me, you play with me, you take care of me, you feed me, I must be God."

REBEL looked up and said, "You love him, you play with him, you take care of him, you feed him. Aah, He must be dying soon."

Little Jhonny's great outlook

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

Little Jhonny sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As ?long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!

Ever Mischievous GrandMas

Three old mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old grandpa walked by, and one of the old grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet you we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your undershorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, the grandpa dropped his drawers.

The grandmas stared at him for a while, asked him to turn arounda couple of times, then asked him to jump up and down for a littlewhile and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!"

"How in the world did you guess?!?"

The old grandmas, snickered and laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison,"Because you told us yesterday."