Albie is always telling jokes and thinks he could make a great stand-up comedian. So when one of his friends suggests he do a try out, Albie volunteers to entertain patients in one of the wards at a nearby hospital.
Albie starts by telling the patients some jokes and finishes by singing some funny songs.
Just before he leaves, he says to the patients, "I hope you all get better."
One elderly male replies, "I hope you get better, too."
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Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The lost wallet
Banta had a habit of panicking over small events.
Once He rushes up to his wife Pammo and says, almost crying, "I can’t find my wallet. I’ve been looking for it everywhere. What should I do? I had over 2000 Rs in it, and all my credit cards, Oh Lord have mercy!!"
"Calm down Banta," replies Pammo, "we just came back from shopping, so did you look in your jacket?"
"Yes, of course I did," replies Banta, "do you think I’m a fool? I’ve looked in my jacket’s inside pockets three times already and it’s not there."
"So what about your trouser pockets?" asks Pammo.
"I’ve looked in there too," replies Banta, "but my wallet isn’t in either pocket.
What shall I do, Pammo? What shall I do?"
"Oh stop worrying like a kid," says Pammo. "What about the side pockets of your jacket? Have you checked your wallet isn’t in there?"
"I’m not such a big fool yet, Pammo," Banta cries. "Of course I haven’t looked in my jacket’s side pockets......
Why should I give up the last bit of hope I have left?"
Once He rushes up to his wife Pammo and says, almost crying, "I can’t find my wallet. I’ve been looking for it everywhere. What should I do? I had over 2000 Rs in it, and all my credit cards, Oh Lord have mercy!!"
"Calm down Banta," replies Pammo, "we just came back from shopping, so did you look in your jacket?"
"Yes, of course I did," replies Banta, "do you think I’m a fool? I’ve looked in my jacket’s inside pockets three times already and it’s not there."
"So what about your trouser pockets?" asks Pammo.
"I’ve looked in there too," replies Banta, "but my wallet isn’t in either pocket.
What shall I do, Pammo? What shall I do?"
"Oh stop worrying like a kid," says Pammo. "What about the side pockets of your jacket? Have you checked your wallet isn’t in there?"
"I’m not such a big fool yet, Pammo," Banta cries. "Of course I haven’t looked in my jacket’s side pockets......
Why should I give up the last bit of hope I have left?"
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Reading out report card
Banta was reading out his son Bunty's report card. As he reads through the card he sees,
Hindi 43
English 39
Mathematics 42
Social studies 46
Science 41
computers 37
drawing 44
Dancing 90
As soon he finishes, He gives gentle slap to his son.
Ouch,What?, says Bunty. Didn't you see I got so high marks for dancing?
With mark like these,"replies Banta", You still felt like dancing.
Hindi 43
English 39
Mathematics 42
Social studies 46
Science 41
computers 37
drawing 44
Dancing 90
As soon he finishes, He gives gentle slap to his son.
Ouch,What?, says Bunty. Didn't you see I got so high marks for dancing?
With mark like these,"replies Banta", You still felt like dancing.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Banta - The vaccum cleaner salesman
Banta got a job of salesman in a vaccum cleaner company. As he was street smart guy and had a amazing knack of convincing people, He was very confident he will do good.
As he was entering into a colony in search of his first potential customer, He saw some dog shit on the path. His eyes lit up and decides what gimmick he is going to give and try it right way.
He picks up the dog shit, puts them into one of his vacuum cleaner bags, wipes his hands on another bag, then knocks on the door.
Out comes an old lady sees a well-dressed Banta carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Hello," Banta says to her, "Is it OK if I take a couple of minutes of your time to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners?"
"Go away," she says to him, "I haven’t any money."
But as she starts to close the door, Banta pushes it open again. Please give me one chance, He pleads and before she can respond, Banta empties the dog turds onto her hallway carpet.
He then declares arrogantly and proudly, "If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove every trace of these dog turds from your carpet, I will immediately eat whatever is left"
And he then asks for plug point for vaccum cleaner.
The old lady replied, "Let me bring a fork for your meal instead, The Electricity Board cut off my electricity this morning because I couldn’t pay their bill."
As he was entering into a colony in search of his first potential customer, He saw some dog shit on the path. His eyes lit up and decides what gimmick he is going to give and try it right way.
He picks up the dog shit, puts them into one of his vacuum cleaner bags, wipes his hands on another bag, then knocks on the door.
Out comes an old lady sees a well-dressed Banta carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Hello," Banta says to her, "Is it OK if I take a couple of minutes of your time to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners?"
"Go away," she says to him, "I haven’t any money."
But as she starts to close the door, Banta pushes it open again. Please give me one chance, He pleads and before she can respond, Banta empties the dog turds onto her hallway carpet.
He then declares arrogantly and proudly, "If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove every trace of these dog turds from your carpet, I will immediately eat whatever is left"
And he then asks for plug point for vaccum cleaner.
The old lady replied, "Let me bring a fork for your meal instead, The Electricity Board cut off my electricity this morning because I couldn’t pay their bill."
So What?
Pammo, Banta's wife was in her garden hanging up her washing when Kammo, her next door neighbour, poked her head over the fence and said, "I don’t like being the one to have to tell you this Pammo, but there's a rumour going around that your husband Banta is chasing the girls these days."
"So what?" said Pammo.
"But at his age!" said Kammo, "He's over 70 isn’t he?"
"Right he's seventy-two, so what?" replied Pammo, "Let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"
"So what?" said Pammo.
"But at his age!" said Kammo, "He's over 70 isn’t he?"
"Right he's seventy-two, so what?" replied Pammo, "Let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The ultimate excuse
Banta had just picked up his wife Pammo and their new baby from hospital and brought them home.
It was not long before Pammo suggested that Banta should try his hand at changing a nappy.
"I'm busy," he said. "I promise I'll do the next one."
The next time soon came around so Pammo asked him again.
Banta looked at Pammo and said, innocently, "I didn't mean the next nappy, I meant the next baby."
It was not long before Pammo suggested that Banta should try his hand at changing a nappy.
"I'm busy," he said. "I promise I'll do the next one."
The next time soon came around so Pammo asked him again.
Banta looked at Pammo and said, innocently, "I didn't mean the next nappy, I meant the next baby."
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