Banta as Surgeon

Banta was renowned surgeon of the city.

A person went into hospital one day to undergo a risky medical procedure.

He spoke to Banta (Head surgeon) earlier to explain that I was a little nervous, but Banta reassured him following way.

"There's only a 1 in 100 chance of anything going seriously wrong," he said.

"Besides, I've done 99 of these operations before and they've all been fine."

Boy vs Girl

Boy: I think you are ABCDEFGHIJK.

Girl: What does that mean?

Boy: Adorable, beautiful, charming, delightful, elegant, feisty, gorgeous and hot.

Girl: And the 'IJK'?

Boy: I'm just kidding!!

The Pope and KFC Deal

When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea. He got in touch with the Pope and asked him whether they could change the words of the Lord's prayer from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us this day our daily chicken."

"I can't possibly do that" said the Pope.

Not even for 100,000 dollars?" asked the colonel.

"No, not even for 100,000 dollars.

6 months later and KFC sales were declining even further. The colonel was getting desperate and made another call to the Pope. This time he offered 500,000 dollars to change the words from "bread" to "chicken".

Again, the Pope refused. I can't possibly change the words of the Lord's prayer" he repeated.

Another six months by and KFC sales had reached an all time low, and the company was in danger of going out of business. Colonel Sanders made one last attempt to persuade the Pope to change the wording of the Lord's prayer.

"I'll donate 50million dollars to the Vatican if you change the word "bread" to "chicken""

There was a pause.

"That is a lot of money" the Pope conceded.

"So you'll do it?"

"I'll have to discuss it with the Cardinals"

So the Pope called a meeting of the Cardinals. He began,

"I have good news that, KFC are going to donate 50 million dollars to the Vatican.
The bad news is, we'll have to end the Britania account."

Lord Shiva in bar!!

One day Lord Shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So
he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Delhi and asked the bartender:

"What all do u have"?

Bartender : "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc.".

Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first, give me 5 bottles of whisky".

After having 5 bottles of whisky, Lord Shiva decided to try Rum.

Bartender was shocked :"Who is this man, after having 5 bottles of whisky,he is still on his feet".

After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles
of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.

Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him : "Sir,who are you??

I've seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you"???

Lord Shiva : "VATS, Hum Bhagwaan Shiv hain". (Translation: Son, I am Lord Shiva)

Bartender : AB CHADHI ISKO!! (Translation: Now It has an effect!!)

A Jewish Couple

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

THE LATERAL THINKING PUZZLE 8 - LAWN MESS

It was a sunny day after many days of snow fall.

Albie was walking past Morkel’s house when he noticed 5 pieces of coal, a carrot and a scarf lying on Benny’s lawn. He thought that was odd so he knocks on Morkel’s door and asks, “Why did you put those bits and pieces on your lawn, Morkel?”

“I didn’t put them there,” says Morkel,“ in fact, nobody put them on my lawn.

But there is a perfectly logical reason for that being there.”

WHAT IS THAT REASON?


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Answers in comment after few days!!

The Lateral Thinking Puzzle 7 : Raining puzzingly

Albie, Morkel, David and John were walking home together after attending their weekly Management class. It started to rain so all four of them set off on a run.

Albie, Morkel and David got home with soaking wet hair, but John didn’t get his hair wet at all.

John was not wearing a hat or helmet, nor was he carrying an umbrella,
and he didn’t stop anywhere to take shelter as well.


WHY DIDN’T JOHN GET HIS HAIR WET?
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PS:
Answer will be in comment after few days either by me or someone else :-)