Aliens understanding the golf

Two aliens are visiting Earth to research the sports played on earth.

One day, their spaceship hovers over a golf course and the two aliens watch a solitary golfer in sheer amazement.

The golfer hits the tee shot, shanks his second into the rough deserted piece of land, takes three to get out of the rough onto the fairway, slices the next shot into the bushes, then takes a putter to get it out and on to the fairway again.


One alien says to the other that he must be playing some sort of weird game. They continue to observe the golfer.

The golfer then hits a shot into a bunker by the green, takes several shots to get out of the bunker and finally onto the green, and puts several times until he finally gets the ball into the hole.

At this point, the other alien says to his partner, "Aah, now he's really in some serious trouble!"

The New Comedian

Albie is always telling jokes and thinks he could make a great stand-up comedian. So when one of his friends suggests he do a try out, Albie volunteers to entertain patients in one of the wards at a nearby hospital.

Albie starts by telling the patients some jokes and finishes by singing some funny songs.

Just before he leaves, he says to the patients, "I hope you all get better."

One elderly male replies, "I hope you get better, too."

Karthik calling karthik :-)

The lost wallet

Banta had a habit of panicking over small events.

Once He rushes up to his wife Pammo and says, almost crying, "I can’t find my wallet. I’ve been looking for it everywhere. What should I do? I had over 2000 Rs in it, and all my credit cards, Oh Lord have mercy!!"


"Calm down Banta," replies Pammo, "we just came back from shopping, so did you look in your jacket?"


"Yes, of course I did," replies Banta, "do you think I’m a fool? I’ve looked in my jacket’s inside pockets three times already and it’s not there."


"So what about your trouser pockets?" asks Pammo.

"I’ve looked in there too," replies Banta, "but my wallet isn’t in either pocket.

What shall I do, Pammo? What shall I do?"

"Oh stop worrying like a kid," says Pammo. "What about the side pockets of your jacket? Have you checked your wallet isn’t in there?"

"I’m not such a big fool yet, Pammo," Banta cries. "Of course I haven’t looked in my jacket’s side pockets......

Why should I give up the last bit of hope I have left?"

Reading out report card

Banta was reading out his son Bunty's report card. As he reads through the card he sees,

Hindi 43
English 39
Mathematics 42
Social studies 46
Science 41
computers 37
drawing 44
Dancing 90

As soon he finishes, He gives gentle slap to his son.
Ouch,What?, says Bunty. Didn't you see I got so high marks for dancing?

With mark like these,"replies Banta", You still felt like dancing.

Banta - The vaccum cleaner salesman

Banta got a job of salesman in a vaccum cleaner company. As he was street smart guy and had a amazing knack of convincing people, He was very confident he will do good.

As he was entering into a colony in search of his first potential customer, He saw some dog shit on the path. His eyes lit up and decides what gimmick he is going to give and try it right way.

He picks up the dog shit, puts them into one of his vacuum cleaner bags, wipes his hands on another bag, then knocks on the door.

Out comes an old lady sees a well-dressed Banta carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Hello," Banta says to her, "Is it OK if I take a couple of minutes of your time to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners?"

"Go away," she says to him, "I haven’t any money."

But as she starts to close the door, Banta pushes it open again. Please give me one chance, He pleads and before she can respond, Banta empties the dog turds onto her hallway carpet.

He then declares arrogantly and proudly, "If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove every trace of these dog turds from your carpet, I will immediately eat whatever is left"

And he then asks for plug point for vaccum cleaner.

The old lady replied, "Let me bring a fork for your meal instead, The Electricity Board cut off my electricity this morning because I couldn’t pay their bill."

So What?

Pammo, Banta's wife was in her garden hanging up her washing when Kammo, her next door neighbour, poked her head over the fence and said, "I don’t like being the one to have to tell you this Pammo, but there's a rumour going around that your husband Banta is chasing the girls these days."

"So what?" said Pammo.

"But at his age!" said Kammo, "He's over 70 isn’t he?"

"Right he's seventy-two, so what?" replied Pammo, "Let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"