Smart Banta in the bar

Smart Banta one day enterer into a bar and rested himself in a chair. The bartender approaches Banta and asked, "Do you like to have any drink, Sir" ?

Banta replied, "No, I tried drinking once, I didn't like it.... So I don't take anymore now".

Bartender: "Sir, Would you like to have any cigarette or cigar"?

Banta Replied, "No, I tried smoking once, I didn't like it, So I have given up once for all"

Banta then himself added, "Actually I am waiting here for my Son, I have promised him that I will be for him in the bar today".

Bartender replied sarcastically, "I bet sir, He must be your only Son"!!

Smart Banta and his neighbour

Banta got furious when his neighbour telephoned him at 3 am night and complained, "Your Dog is barking so loudly that I can't sleep" and he hunged up the phone.

The following night at 3 am Banta called his neighbour and said, "You idiot, I don't have any dog".

Smart Banta on trial

Smart Banta was on trial before the high court of Australia, for the crime of making sexual advances to an ostrich.

"Before passing sentence," announced the judge, "do you have anything to say?"

"Your honor," said the Smarty, "if I had known you were going to make such a fuss about it, I would not have married the bloody bird!"

Santa in New York

Santa arrived in New York seeking his fame and fortune. As he strolled down the sidewalk he noticed a great long ladder propped against the side of a building, stretching upward as far as the eye could see.

He started to pass on by, but a voice high in the clouds called down, "Climb up the ladder to success!"

Somewhat nervously he began to ascend, stair by stair, all the way to the top of the fifty-story edifice.

When he got there, a slender, blond, blue-eyed boy seated on the ledge of the building smiled sweetly at him.

"Hi, there!" he said. "I am Cess!"

Banta in the theatre

It was after the intermission at the theater, and Smart Banta and his wife were returning to their seats.

”Did I step on your feet as I went out?” Banta asked a man at the end of the row.
”You certainly did,” said the man awaiting an apology.

Banta turned to his wife,”it’s all right, darling,” he said. ”This is our Row.”

Santa and the Surgeon

What does Santa says to the surgen wearing the surgical-mask ?????
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(THink Hard, you can get it!!!!)
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Santa:- Its Ok, You can take your mask off now, doctor, I have recognized you!"

Santa filed for divorce

Santa had been overseas for eighteen months. He came home and found he had a three-week-old baby. His wife explained that she dreamt she had intercourse with him, and she got pregnant.
Santa got furious and filed for divorce. In court even the judge was astounded by the wife's story. He stood up and asked the audience if they had ever had intercourse with a ghost.

In the back, Santa's freind Banta raised his hand. His Honor called him to the bench. "Now," said the judge, "you say you had intercourse with a ghost?'."

"Ah, excuse me," said the Banta, "I thought you say-a goat!"