Banta in a Shopping Mall

Banta spoted a beautiful girl in a mall and approached her and said her, "Hello, Actually I have lost my wife somewhere in this mall, Can you talk to me for sometime."

Lady replied angrilly, "And how that help your cause ?"

Banta, "Actually whenever I talk to beautiful girl like you, my wife appears from nowhere."

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(sure enough when Banta turned around he spotted his wife staring at him. General Phenomenon.)

Some strange Laws

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet your boss in the elevator.

Banta's lousy habit.

Banta had this ugly habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke and this was ofcourse irritating to his wife. Continous request from wife didn't made Banta change this habit of his.
She used to warn him one day you will fart out your guts instead visit the doctor and get cured.
But Banta ignored.

One Sunday morning as she was preparing the chicken for dinner and Banta was upstairs sound asleep, she though of playing some prank on him. she went upstairs pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of chicken guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual habitual gesture which was followed by a loud scream this time.

About twenty minutes later, Banta came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants and said to her wife.

"Well you were right that I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But with some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

Two soldiers different reasons

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time.

First Soldier: Why did you join the army?

Second Soldier: I didn't have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army?

First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.

Banta's wrong number

Banta and his wife are sound asleep in bed when the phones rings.

Banta picks up, listens for a few seconds and says, "How would I know, you idiot! I'm not a weatherman , You chuckle head."

The wife asks, "Who was that dear?"

Banta says, "Some idiot asking if the coast was clear."

Banta and the bank robber

A bank robber walks up to one of his hostages and asks, "Did you see my face?"

The hostage replies, "Yes."

The robber takes aim and shoots the man in the head.

He turns to the next man Banta. "And did you see my face?"

"No, but my wife did!"

Banta - The hunter

Banta and two other guys found themselves in an Island after the ship wreck. They were the only survivors. Soon they set out for hunting for some food. After searching for hours they finally hunted a wild big goat.

The first guy said, "I serviced my motherland in Kashmir for 5 years, So I will eat the head of the goat."

The second guy said, "I serviced in Indore for 6 years, So I will eat stomach of the goat."

Banta was silent for a while and then said, "Well actually I worked in andaman and nicobar island for last 8 years, But I am not very hungry"