Mother-in-law's illness

Banta meets Santa in the street. Banta says, “Is it true, Santa, that your mother-in law is ill?”

“Yes.” , replied Santa.

“In fact,I heard that she is in hospital.” queried Banta.

“Yes.”, replied Santa.

“How long has she been in hospital?”, again queried Banta.

Santa replies, “29 more days please G0D and it will be a month.”

Engineer's life after death

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer—you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


(courtesy : sagar masuti)

Abe - The perfect Bachelor

Benny, the matchmaker, goes to see Abe, a confirmed bachelor for many years.

"Abe, you mustn't wait too long. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you'll meet and be married in no time!" says Benny.

"Don't bother," replies Abe, "I've two sisters at home, who look after all my needs."

"That's all well and good," said Benny, "but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."

"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were mine!"

Banta's Marriage Advice

Banta preaches, "Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. "

Of course, an ugly person may leave you too, but then who cares?

Punjabi Dog

Banta walks into a Dhaba with a dog.

The owner comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, you can't bring your dog in here as others will feel uncomfortable."

"What do you mean," says Banta, "this is a Punjabi dog and knows our tradition. Look."

"DalJeet," says the Banta, "Show you are Punjabi" !!

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens his bag (which was hanging with his neck), takes out a turban and puts it on his head.

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens bag again, takes out a sword and displays his swords skills.

"That's fantastic," says the owner, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, he could make a million dollars!!"

"Please, You speak to him and make him understand," says Banta, "he wants to be a dentist."

Banta stole priest's golden watch

Banta has stolen the priest's gold watch from gurudwara.

He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night

to go to the priest.

'Sir, I stole a gold watch.', regretted Banta.

'But Banta ! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately !'

'What shall I do ?' . asks Banta

'Give it back to the owner.', concluded Priest

'Do you want it ?' , quipped Banta

'No, I said return it to its owner.', replied Priest

'But he doesn't want it.', replied Banta

'In that case, you can keep it.' concluded Priest.

Banta visit to dentist

One day, Banta goes to his dentist and asks him how much it will cost to extract a wisdom tooth.

"Eight hundred," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," Banta says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "if I don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to 600."

"That's still too expensive," Banta says.

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anaesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging you only 200."

"No," moans Banta, "it's still too much."

"Hmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it without anaesthetic and use a pair of old pliers - just for the experience, you understand, I suppose I could charge you just 100 Rs."

"Marvellous," says Banta, "book my appointment for my wife Pammo for next Tuesday!"